A New Life

A new beginning.A new purpose.A new life.Well,it's not entirely a lifetime change..hmmx,it could be but no matter what I am entering a new phase in life.

Be it a lifetime or a temporary change,my guts could guess that I will learnt aplenty during the next two years of my life.6 days into the regime,I now could understand of the statement of "Boys Turning Into Men" truly meant.

Everything about you will be put to the test.Your mind.Your soul.Your body.You have to dug deep to push yourself to the limit and anything below that is not an option.Now,it's between you and yourself only.Trust me,you wil benefit from this.

The countdown towards the 14th of September 2011 have already begun and I am looking forward for what's in store during the next few days,the next months and the next 2 years of my life.It's gonna be a blast.

I will fight my way through and will never back down.

Fight & Never Back Down!!!

Turning Over A New Page

This will be a freakishly super duper long post as there is so much things for me to pour out on this blog and so bear with me on this one but if you can't,then just move on to another blog or website.Don't worry,I won't bear any grudges or hard feelings if you decide to do the latter.And so,this freakishly super duper long post starts now..

These past two weeks had been a traumatic and disastrous one for me.Not to sound emotional or anything in that sort of manner,I am broken into pieces.I am broken into fine pieces.I didn't realise that I am this fragile up until now.It's freaking me up to the core and all I want is for this to be over.I cant feel any pain.It's just numbness that is filling me up and Im trying to have that sense of feel again.This is a black page in the chapter of my life and I want to turn over a new page.I will.I have to.I must.

Karma bites.Some may believe that it's a hoax but for me,Karma is alive and kicking ass.When Karma bites,it will only end in one way and chances are that it will not be the happiest of results.I couldn't believe myself of the things that you have done for me.I couldnt believe that suddenly Im seeing evil instead of goodness in you.Your hellish words makes me think if I should be even talking to you and hoping one day,life would be good again.The discrimination and hatred that I've gone through from your parents and even your grandparents were just put to waste and in vain.I was not given any chance to prove my worth but he was given aplenty even though I don't believe that he deserves it.I will not talk more about the both of you because if I do,many more pieces will break.You gave the word "EX" a whole different meaning.But then again,thank you very much for the memories that we had.Thank You.

Now,with nothing to lose,there will be only me,myself and I to take care of.As I trying to turn over from the black and rotten page into a much more fresher and clean one,I realise that I have to love myself above everything else.Some people might say that I've changed for the better while some say it's for the worst.I believe that I've changed for what it's best for me.My change from my point of view is only 90 degrees but I will change a whole 360 degrees in due time and my change will be of what I feel it's best for me.Period.I can't predict or foresee the future but I know that there will be a long list of things that awaits me and I can't wait to get my hands on those things.Life is too short to be unhappy,sad and angry.

National Service is just a day away.Actually in all honesty,Im looking forward to it.Im running away from it but instead Im running towards it.2 years serving the nation I hope will mature me as an individual and I want to make the best of any opportunity that will be given to me.2 years of serving the nation I hope will change my perpective in life and be a better person and I want to grab that chance.Many people say that National Service will turn one from a boy to a man and I hope that after 2 years,I can call myself a man.

There is nothing to be sad about when she is enjoying life out that guy.So,I've come to a conclusion that I have to enjoy of what life has to offer.Have an easy-going,nothing to lose and a simple attitude and I know that if I possess that,no amount of tribulation can defeat that.The world awaits Mr FirMraz to enjoy of what it offers and Mr FirMraz will oblige to it's command.Yeah.Rock On!!!

Here are the list of people that I believe should be given a special commendation for helping me in any form.That bunch of people who was there with me yesterday night.Now I realise that bowling is an alternative remedy to punching a person and it's good.Constance and Tracy for never stopping to give me words of encouragement even though they are either working or on medical leave.MH,for staying so late even though she have to report to work at 7am the next morning.SWT,for being my eyes and ears.If it wasn't for you,I wouldnt know the exact situation of this whole mess.I owe you one.And finally Dr C for treating me that Nasi Lemak at Changi at 5am for the pre-fast meal and accompanying me till day break.Thank you so much for everything and anything that you guys have done.

I guess it's time for me to end this ride.I've said of what is on my mind and in all honesty,I feel a bit better already.One step at a time.Slowly but surely.Alright,I'm taking my bow now and I hope that the next time I post,it will be something beautiful and amazing.Fingers crossed!!!

What A Life!!!

Heartless

In the night I hear them talk
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?

Heartless!!!

Ultimatum?

Alright.Do allow me to be emotional on this one.Whether you like it or not,Im going to post this entry.Whether you going to read it or not,Im going to post this entry.I don't think I give a hoot about it anymore.Haiz.

We've been through a hellish lot since July 2008(If Im not wrong).We've been through smiles and tears.(If Im not wrong).We've been through hot and cold(If Im not wrong).We've been through all that.Now you want to end it and throw all it away?!?

I've always thought that we agreed to be this way.I've always thought that we want to be this way.I've always thought that we have decided to be in this relationship of sorts.Didnt we?Now you want an ultimatum?

You may say that Im stubborn and stuff but I will stand by my stance.I can't commit now when everything seems so blurry and hazy.I can't come to a decision until I could see that light.I told you that time will play it's part and I could not see any rush in any decision since both of us have age by our side and goals in pursuit.Now,you want a decision?

You want an ultimatum?You want a decision?You want an answer?Im sorry but Im sticking by the usual.Now it's your to decide.You want to just let time play it's role and keep everything as it is or you want to throw away of all the things that we shared and goes through.

It's your time now.

It's Not Over!!!